The Changes

So during the recent trip to Charleston, I saw something fascinating.

My cousin took off that Sunday in order to sit in the pew and worship with her family as they visited in the church where she is pastor. She brought a birthday cake of surpassing deliciousness to share with her congregation. So they sang to her, and she cut a piece, and then, nothing. No surge of church ladies coming forth to marshall the orderly distribution of cake and napkins and the like, in the venerable tradition of church hospitality--and this was in THE SOUTH--the very bastion of gracious hospitality.

So in a demonstration of what being a man can mean these days, my brother in law, a fine individual and an experienced hospitality professional, --*and a visitor to this church*-- stepped up, cast his practiced eye about the room, and proceeded to cut and plate the rest of the cake with breathless speed and skill. Only four very reasonable-sized pieces were left at the end.

Over the course of this whole visit, my beloved dedicated himself to careful and attentive childcare, from the five year old niece to the teen-aged cousins. The brother in law took over the kitchen, and he and the teen aged nephew went grocery shopping and then male-bonded in the kitchen over meal prep. The women sat in the living room and treated of the great issues of the day.

All these spaces need filling, whatever politics or culture say about them at any given time. They are all dignified, and I came to realize that their dignity belongs to whoever can fill them best at any given moment.

(P.S. The cake came from Sojourn Cafe in Charleston. Very good. Stop by if you have a chance.)